Hello and welcome back to As the Tranny Turns! When we last left Sean, he was pumped up on prednisone and wallowing in self pity and loneliness. His mother, the Janet, convinced of his impending death, made herself a nuisance. And now to our show!
The Testosterone Files
I think I mentioned before that my doctor had me discontinue use of testosterone while I was in the hospital. This was done not because the T has anything to do with me being sick, but because testosterone and prednisone are similar structured drugs and he wanted to make sure that we weren't flooding my system. I was off testosterone for about a month and then was able to continue hormone therapy. It's been about a month since continuing and I feel fine. My voice is still a little squeaky from the off/on action.
Facial hair is pouring in. The prednisone has given me HORRIBLE acne which makes me petrified to shave. I'm not quite a monkey yet, but I'm getting there.
Last weekend I went to Worcester to volunteer at the St. Patricks Day Parade with my mother. She's on the committee and I used to help out every year. Then I began my transition, so last year I didn't go. I was nervous because my mother didn't really tell anyone. And she still talks about her "daughter." However, I pass well enough that everyone, whether they had been told her not, saw me and treated me as male. I was also working away from my mother all day which makes it 100% easier. It's her slips and pronouns that tip people off. I had such a good day being myself and helping to run the awards (anyone who has programmed with me in the past, thing battle of the bands judging on crack with old people). Afterwards I told my mom how nice it was when people didn't know and just got to know me for me. She was like, well they knew, and I was like, trust me, if they knew they forgot because they did not know I used to be a girl. I think it's hard for her to imagine someone not knowing because she looks at me and sees a girl. She hates the facial hair - almost as much as she hates my body hair. Last summer she told me she hated hair "even on real men." Thanks mom ;P
The Medical Front
March 4th I had my first round of cyclophosphamide. My mother insisted on taking me. We got lost on the way and were 20 minutes late, but luckily we were going to be there for 6 hours so it didn't really matter. Basically I sit for 6 hours and get a low dose of chemotherapy to treat the lupus. I also get flushed with a LOT of saline fluid and receive a medication that shields the kidney from damage from the chemo. This medication has to be given 4 hours apart, which is why I am there for so long. The day wasn't as long as I had anticipated, although I had taken my adderall and did puzzles all day. They have volunteers that used to be patients there and they come by with drinks, snacks, and lunch. My mother makes a big deal about me getting chemo but i really don't see it as a big deal. I don't even get any side effects from it, except extreme fatigue the next day. My rheumotologist came up so I could sign the consent form and he seems to think that I won't even need the full 6 months of treatment. My levels are looking good and the kidney function has gone up. My next chemo is April 1st, which my mother is attending, After that I told her that I'm doing it by myself. Honestly I don't mind people coming with me. Just not here. She puts additional stress on me and I need to learn to say no to her. I'm not twelve anymore and I don't think she understands that. I get that I'm her kid and that this is a scary time for her, but if her being crazy Janet is impacting my recovery, she's not helping. I was lucky enough to get all three of my next doctor appointments on the same day, which I mentioned to her in passing. I got a text from her saying that she could go with me if I wanted. I told her that, No, I'm good. Haven't heard from her since ;P I'm trying to let her be as involved as I can without driving me crazy.
Other happenings
I'm become best friends with the Pollard Memorial Library of Lowell. I went yesterday and read the entire recent issue of Time. I've discovered audio books. When I was in Boston last week I listened to The Pearl by John Steinbeck. By the end of the day just by listening to my ipod I had read an entire book. Next I'm going to see how Stephen King's The Colorado Kid translates into audio. I've been reading a lot of different books including poetry. I've also been writing in my paper and pen journal, which I take with me everywhere. It has it's own spot in my backpack. I write anything and everything.
I'm addicted to Subway. There is a Subway right near the library. They have daily sandwich specials, a value meal with chips and a drink for $3.99. I have the sandwiches of the day memorized. I usually hang out in Subway for an hour when I go, eating and writing, writing and eating. Mostly writing because the 6 inch sub doesn't last long.
I found lately that I have to be careful with how much energy I'm using. Usually when I get back from the library I'm exhausted. This Wednesday I forced myself to stay in the house and do nothing. I was miserable all day because I was bored. And when I'm bored I tend to eat everything in the house from the prednisone. I think I need to work out some sort of a schedule for myself. I'm thinking of working in some concrete writing time that will force me to write, or at least sketch out something to write.
Until next time, thank you for watching As the Tranny Turns!
