Currently it is 52 degrees, windy with clouds. My May flowers do not like this much. I had to take them in a few nights ago because we were under a frost advisory. My mother bought us the Sensational Strawberry something Bag which is a fancy name for a Topsy Turvy rip-off. I'm having serious doubts about harvesting happy, healthy strawberries. When the weather is nicer I will try and pack the soil in a little tighter. Instead of being a pessimist I at least need to be able to say I tried my best to the lady when she is crestfallen about the lack of fresh strawberries on the porch.
I went to the doctors on Monday. It's exciting that there is nothing new to say. Lupus seems to be laying low, my back isn't bothering me as much (which is great, because it's been nearly a year since the fracture), I'm transferring my neurologist to BIDMCs epilepsy clinic so all my doctors will be in one system and be able to communicate freely. My doctor is also looking into guidelines for medication I may need for the dentist due to my heart murmur. According to a rash I got when I was little when I happened to be on amoxicillan, I am "allergic" to it and will need something else. My teeth are in bad shape and it's making me nervous. I think it's also all the talk about how dental health has a huge impact on your overall health. I don't want my dental problems to play any part in my ill health. That would make me feel dumb. My major concern is a tooth that is basically missing one complete side. I'm afraid it might have to be removed. I also stopped going to the dentist before my wisdom teeth were checked out. I'm assuming they are impacted. The overall state of my mouth is not well, although I do brush twice a day. I fear, however, it is too little too late.
We had a conversation about my ADHD and if I started taking the meds again. It was thought by the neurologist that the adderell might have had a part in my seizure activity. My doctor scoffed at that but erred on the side of caution. With his blessing I started taking it again and haven't had any seizures. That's great. We also discussed how I spend my day. He asked me if I was isolated, and I explained that I didn't go out much and I enjoyed spending time alone. He agreed that if I'm okay with it then it's fine. I have no problem hanging out with others and having a good time. But with my health it's hard to tell if I'll feel up to going out, so it's almost impossible to make plans. This does sometimes make me a little awkward in groups. I hope I don't become that socially awkward guy that people gravitate away from!
My ADHD medication makes me feel motivated. It's hard to explain, but it's a driving force deep inside of me. I can feel it mostly in my throat because it's very much like the pang a smoker gets when they are craving a cigarette. Which explains why I smoked so much in college. Now that I don't smoke I have to be careful because if I allow it I am driven to do everything I can for hours on end. One day I cleaned the entire house. But then I am exhausted and am useless for the next day or so. I'm making a commitment to myself to find a healthy way of stabilizing a schedule so I feel accomplished but aren't completely diminished.
I have no idea if any of this makes sense. Be well, all!
